Friday, August 30, 2013

My Progress Having Been Perpetually Overweight


A few posts ago I discussed some ideas for those of us that are perpetually overweight.  These ideas were specifically how we differ from a people that have gradually gained weight since they've become adults.

Today, I decided I would share some of my data that I have been tracking.  Hopefully, it will give you better insight into what I am doing and what I mean by taking it slow!

I work out on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  I do not work out on weekends or days in between, other than normal walking in the course of my day.  This last week I finally began tracking my caloric intake with MyFitnessPal.  

I get up at 6am and go to the gym where I begin by walking at about a 3mph pace for a few minutes.  Then I slowly bump it up to 4mph with the occasional venture into the 5.5/6mph area to raise the heartbeat.  My main goal here is not speed.  My goal is to get 1 mile in.  Whether I have to walk it slowly or not, I want to get 1 mile in.

Here is my progression, all of these are for 1 mile and then I stop:
    
          15:54
          15:50
          15:50
          15:52
          15:27
          15:01
          14;59
          14:45
          14:00

My time is slowly getting faster.  At this point the plan is to get down to a 10min. mile then begin going to 1.5 miles instead of just 1mile.  I think I'd like to do a 5k but I'm going to wait a while yet.  The main theme is to not push myself too hard.  Again, I'm trying to avoid pain that keeps me from working out and so far I've been successful at that.

Here are some of my other stats:

After running I do 3 sets of Lat Pulldowns:

    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs ( I made a note that this was way to light)
    2 sets of 10 @ 60lbs  and 1 set @ 75
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 85lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 85lbs
    2 sets of 10 @ 85lbs and 1 set of 12 @ 85lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 90lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 90lbs

then I do Seated Rows:
  
    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs
    2 sets of 10 @ 40lbs and 1 set @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs
    2 sets of 10 @ 55lbs and 1 set @ 40lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs

Then I do back extensions:

    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs
    1 set of 10 @ 70lbs and 2 sets @ 85lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 75lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 75lbs
    
Then its on to Chest Press

    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 55lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs
    2 sets of 10 @ 70lbs and 1 set @ 85lbs
    2 sets of 10 @ 70lbs and 1 set @ 85lbs
    2 sets of 10 @ 70lbs and 1 set of 17 @ 70lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs with a VERY SLOW RELEASE
    3 sets of 10 @ 70lbs with a VERY SLOW RELEASE

Then Bicep Curls

    2 sets of 10 @ 40lbs and 1 set @ 25lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs
    2 sets of 10 @ 40lbs and 1 set of 6 @ 40lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs
    3 sets of 10 @ 45lbs (Actually I didn't even know that the extra 5 was on there, but I was wondering why it was more difficult this day!!!)
    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs SLOW RELEASE
    3 sets of 10 @ 40lbs SLOW RELEASE



And that's everything!

Note on a few of the exercises I have added that I am doing a SLOW RELEASE.  The last couple exercise days I've experimented with letting the weight down exceptionally slow so as to keep my muscle more tense longer.  I like the feel of this and think it will probably help out.

As the days progress you can see that I've begun to increase the weights.  The thing I want you other perpetually overweight folks to remember is that AT NO TIME have I lifted anything that caused me pain the day after.  The main goal is to go through the motion and slowly allow your body to adjust to it before you increase the weights.  At most, you should feel that the muscles are tight afterward, but if anything is sore, lower the weight.  When I complete my third set I can always do more and really push myself, but right now I'm trying to get my body used to this stuff after 37 years on a couch.

Lastly, I want to talk about weight.

The first three weeks I did NOT track my calories.  Every week I gained a couple pounds.  I really chalk this up to the body being in shock and taking on extra calories to protect itself.  However, over the time I've noticed that my desire to cram food in my face is going down.  Also, the addition of the calorie counting with MyFitnessPal has made it really easy.  This week I am down 2.5lbs and have a couple days left until my official weigh in.

MyFitnessPal:  When you set this up you can put in all your information and it will give you the option of eating for 1lb or 2lbs per week weightloss.  As big as I am I went for 2lbs and have not had any difficulty sticking to it.  I do notice that with the combination of exercising and tracking calories I naturally am wanting healthier foods that are less calorically dense.  This helps me to feel fuller longer.

Let me know if this was helpful, or if you have any questions about what I have been doing, please comment below!!!!




                     

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

How 30 Day Trials Could Benefit You!

There is an author out there that I am reading about more and more.  His name is Steve Pavlina.  He has a great book called Personal Development for Smart People (Kindle Version) Personal Development for Smart People (Physical Book).

This is a great book that's really cheap on kindle.

The reason I bring this up is that I have a blog post of his that is relevant to the weight loss discussion that I began in my last couple of posts.

One of the things I am doing to help lower my weight, in addition to exercise, is keeping track of my calories using the My Fitness Pal app that is available as a free app on smartphones.

This is really a great app that everyone should try.  My problem has always been that I don't give things a chance, I'll try something for a bit then push it aside.  Well, Steve's article below is about doing 30 challenges, where you try something out for 30 days, with no intention of doing it any more than that if you choose not to.  Enjoy the article, and pick up his book at the links above if you like it!



30 Days to Success

April 14th, 2005 by Steve Pavlina

A powerful personal growth tool is the 30-day trial. This is a concept I borrowed from the shareware industry, where you can download a trial version of a piece of software and try it out risk-free for 30 days before you’re required to buy the full version. It’s also a great way to develop new habits, and best of all, it’s brain-dead simple.

Let’s say you want to start a new habit like an exercise program or quit a bad habit like sucking on cancer sticks. We all know that getting started and sticking with the new habit for a few weeks is the hard part. Once you’ve overcome inertia, it’s much easier to keep going.

Yet we often psyche ourselves out of getting started by mentally thinking about the change as something permanent — before we’ve even begun. It seems too overwhelming to think about making a big change and sticking with it every day for the rest of your life when you’re still habituated to doing the opposite. The more you think about the change as something permanent, the more you stay put.

But what if you thought about making the change only temporarily — say for 30 days — and then you’re free to go back to your old habits? That doesn’t seem so hard anymore. Exercise daily for just 30 days, then quit. Maintain a neatly organized desk for 30 days, then slack off. Read for an hour a day for 30 days, then go back to watching TV.

Could you do it? It still requires a bit of discipline and commitment, but not nearly so much as making a permanent change. Any perceived deprivation is only temporary. You can count down the days to freedom. And for at least 30 days, you’ll gain some benefit. It’s not so bad. You can handle it. It’s only one month out of your life.

Now if you actually complete a 30-day trial, what’s going to happen? First, you’ll go far enough to establish it as a habit, and it will be easier to maintain than it was to begin it. Secondly, you’ll break the addiction of your old habit during this time. Thirdly, you’ll have 30 days of success behind you, which will give you greater confidence that you can continue. And fourthly, you’ll gain 30 days worth of results, which will give you practical feedback on what you can expect if you continue, putting you in a better place to make informed long-term decisions.

Therefore, once you hit the end of the 30-day trial, your ability to make the habit permanent is vastly increased. But even if you aren’t ready to make it permanent, you can opt to extend your trial period to 60 or 90 days. The longer you go with the trial period, the easier it will be to lock in the new habit for life.
Another benefit of this approach is that you can use it to test new habits where you really aren’t sure if you’d even want to continue for life. Maybe you’d like to try a new diet, but you don’t know if you’d find it too restrictive. In that case, do a 30-day trial and then re-evaluate. There’s no shame in stopping if you know the new habit doesn’t suit you. It’s like trying a piece of shareware for 30 days and then uninstalling it if it doesn’t suit your needs. No harm, no foul.

Here are some examples from my own life where I used 30-day trials to establish new habits:

1) In the Summer of 1993, I wanted to try being vegetarian. I had no interest in making this a lifelong change, but I’d read a lot about the health benefits of vegetarianism, so I committed to it for 30 days just for the experience. I was already exercising regularly, seemed in decent health, and was not overweight (6’0″, 155 lbs), but my typical college diet included a lot of In-N-Out burgers. Going lacto-ovo vegetarian for 30 days was a lot easier than I expected — I can’t say it was hard at all, and I never felt deprived. Within a week I noticed an increase in my energy and concentration, and I felt more clear-headed. At the end of the 30 days, it was a no-brainer to stick with it. This change looked a lot harder than it really was.

2) In January 1997, I decided to try going from vegetarian to vegan. While lacto-ovo vegetarians can eat eggs and dairy, vegans don’t eat anything that comes from an animal. I was developing an interest in going vegan for life, but I didn’t think I could do it. How could I give up veggie-cheese omelettes? The diet seemed too restrictive to me — even fanatically so. But I was intensely curious to know what it was actually like. So once again I did a 30-day trial. At the time I figured I’d make it through the trial, but I honestly didn’t expect to continue beyond that. Well, I lost seven pounds in the first week, mostly from going to the bathroom as all the accumulated dairy mucus was cleansed from my bowels (now I know why cows need four stomachs to properly digest this stuff). I felt lousy the first couple days but then my energy surged. I also felt more clear-headed than ever, as if a “fog of brain” had been lifted; it felt like my brain had gotten a CPU and a RAM upgrade. However, the biggest change I noticed was in my endurance. I was living in Marina del Rey at the time and used to run along the beach near the Santa Monica Pier, and I noticed I wasn’t as tired after my usual 3-mile runs, so I started increasing them to 5 miles, 10 miles, and then eventually a marathon a few years later. In Tae Kwon Do, the extra endurance really gave a boost to my sparring skills as well. The accumulated benefits were so great that the foods I was giving up just didn’t seem so appealing anymore. So once again it was a no-brainer to continue after the first 30 days, and I’m still vegan today. What I didn’t expect was that after so long on this diet, the old animal product foods I used to eat just don’t seem like food anymore, so there’s no feeling of deprivation.

3) Also in 1997, I decided I wanted to exercise every single day for a year. That was my 1997 New Year’s resolution. My criteria was that I would exercise aerobically at least 25 minutes every day, and I wouldn’t count Tae Kwon Do classes which I was taking 2-3 days per week. Coupled with my dietary changes, I wanted to push my fitness to a new level. I didn’t want to miss a single day, not even for sick days. But thinking about exercising 365 days in a row was daunting, so I mentally began with a 30-day trial. That wasn’t so bad. After a while every day that passed set a new record: 8 days in a row… 10 days… 15 days…. It became harder to quit. After 30 days in a row, how could I not do 31 and set a new personal record? And can you imagine giving up after 250 days? No way. After the initial month to establish the habit, the rest of the year took care of itself. I remember going to a seminar that year and getting home well after midnight. I had a cold and was really tired, yet I still went out running at 2am in the rain. Some people might call that foolish, but I was so determined to reach my goal that I wasn’t going to let fatigue or illness stop me. I succeeded and kept it up for the whole year without ever missing a day. In fact, I kept going for a few more weeks into 1998 before I finally opted to stop, which was a tough decision. I wanted to do this for one year, knowing it would become a powerful reference experience, and it certainly became such.

4) More diet stuff…. After being vegan for a number of years, I opted to try other variations of the vegan diet. I did 30-day trials both with the macrobiotic diet and with the raw foods diet. Those were interesting and gave me new insights, but I decided not to continue with either of them. I felt no different eating macrobiotically than I did otherwise. And in the case of the raw diet, while I did notice a significant energy boost, I found the diet too labor intensive — I was spending a lot of time preparing meals and shopping frequently. Sure you can just eat raw fruits and veggies, but to make interesting raw meals, there can be a lot of labor involved. If I had my own chef, I’d probably follow the raw diet though because I think the benefits would be worth it. I did a second trial of the raw diet for 45 days, but again my conclusion was the same. If I was ever diagnosed with a serious disease like cancer, I’d immediately switch to an all raw, living foods diet, since I believe it to be the absolute best diet for optimal health. I’ve never felt more energetic in my life than when I ate a raw diet. But I had a hard time making it practical for me. Even so, I managed to integrate some new macrobiotic foods and raw foods into my diet after these trials. There are two all-raw restaurants here in Vegas, and I’ve enjoyed eating at them because then someone else does all the labor. So these 30-day trials were still successful in that they produced new insights, although in both cases I intentionally declined to continue with the new habit. One of the reasons a full 30-day trial is so important with new diets is that the first week or two will often be spent detoxing and overcoming cravings, so it isn’t until the third or fourth week that you begin to get a clear picture. I feel that if you haven’t tried a diet for at least 30 days, you simply don’t understand it. Every diet feels different on the inside than it appears from the outside.

This 30-day method seems to work best for daily habits. I’ve had no luck using it when trying to start a habit that only occurs 3-4 days per week. However, it can work well if you apply it daily for the first 30 days and then cut back thereafter. This is what I’d do when starting a new exercise program, for example. Daily habits are much easier to establish.

Here are some other ideas for applying 30-day trials:
  • Give up TV. Tape all your favorite shows and save them until the end of the trial. My whole family did this once, and it was very enlightening.
  • Give up online forums, especially if you feel you’re becoming forum addicted. This will help break the addiction and give you a clearer sense of how participation actually benefits you (if at all). You can always catch up at the end of 30 days.
  • Shower/bathe/shave every day. I know YOU don’t need this one, so please pass it along to someone who does.
  • Meet someone new every day. Start up a conversation with a stranger.
  • Go out every evening. Go somewhere different each time, and do something fun — this will be a memorable month.
  • Spend 30 minutes cleaning up and organizing your home or office every day. That’s 15 hours total.
  • List something new to sell on eBay every day. Purge some of that clutter.
  • Ask someone new out on a date every day. Unless your success rate is below 3%, you’ll get at least one new date, maybe even meet your future spouse.
  • If you’re already in a relationship, give your partner a massage every day. Or offer to alternate who gives the massage each day, so that’s 15 massages each.
  • Give up cigarettes, soda, junk food, coffee, or other unhealthy addictions.
  • Become an early riser.
  • Write in your journal every day.
  • Call a different family member, friend, or business contact every day.
  • Make 25 sales calls every day to solicit new business. Professional speaker Mike Ferry did this five days a week for two years, even on days when he was giving seminars. He credits this habit with helping build his business to over $10 million in annual sales. If you make 1300 sales calls a year, you’re going to get some decent business no matter how bad your sales skills are. You can generalize this habit to any kind of marketing work, like building new links to your web site.
  • Write a new blog entry every day.
  • Read for an hour a day on a subject that interests you.
  • Meditate every day.
  • Learn a new vocabulary word every day.
  • Go for a long walk every day.
Again, don’t think that you need to continue any of these habits beyond 30 days. Think of the benefits you’ll gain from those 30 days alone. You can re-assess after the trial period. You’re certain to grow just from the experience, even if it’s temporary.

The power of this approach lies in its simplicity. Even though doing a certain activity every single day may be less efficient than following a more complicated schedule — weight training is a good example because adequate rest is a key component — you’ll often be more likely to stick with the daily habit. When you commit to doing something every single day without exception, you can’t rationalize or justify missing a day, nor can you promise to make it up later by reshuffling your schedule.

Give trials a try. If you’re ready to commit to one right now, please feel free to post a comment and share your goal for the next 30 days. If there’s enough interest, then perhaps we can do a group postmortem around May 20th to see how it went for everyone. I’ll even do it with you. Mine will be to go running or biking for at least 25 minutes or do a minimum 60-minute hike in the mountains every day for 30 days. The weather here in Vegas has been great lately, so it’s a nice time for me to get back to exercising outdoors.



I found doing these 30 day trials to be very helpful in making leaps forward with my personal goals.  I hope you decide to give it a try!

Also, if you liked what you read and want to pick up Steve's book, here are the links again:

Personal Development for Smart People (Kindle Version) 

Personal Development for Smart People (Physical Book)

Friday, August 23, 2013

Weight Loss For The Perpetually Overweight

Ok, so back in June I bought a new pair of running shoes and was going to begin running to lose weight.  The first run/walk went well.  I blogged about it and felt really good.

Fast forward to present.

For a while I didn't stick to it.  Then I decided that my health was the most important thing I could do for myself and my family.  So, what the hell was my problem? Why was I delaying and continually putting off what I knew I had to do?

You see, weight loss is different for people that have been overweight their whole life.  It's not as simple as following the latest workout program they are selling on TV.  It's much more psychological.  In fact watch the TV programs.  Most of the participants that lose the most weight have only gotten heavy after they were an adult.  Not that their success shouldn't be praised, weight loss and increased health at any age should be respected.

What I am saying is that if you have been overweight most of your life, you will need to focus on the psychology as well as lifestyle.

I will blog more about this in the coming weeks and months as I go through it, but here is some initial info that I have found to be true.

First, start slow.  VERY SLOW.  If you workout in any manner that causes you to be sore the next day you will give up.  Unless you are on the Biggest Loser ranch and Bob and Jillian are kicking your ass everyday.  (By the way, I used to watch that show with a bowl of ice cream....sigh).

So, for the first few weeks go slow.  Walk, don't run.  Lift light weights, not heavy.

Your body is going to be slow to adjust, it's just not used to this!  Incidentally, this is how people that have been in shape before bounce back so fast, their body remembers it.  Your's does not!

I ran a mile the first day I got my shoes.  I was sore the next day.  It was over a month until I worked out again.  It's not that I was sore for a month, it's that I trained my subconscious to associate work outs with soreness.

I eventually decided that I wanted to join a gym and signed up at a really cheap place that costs me $10 per month.  It has weights and cardio machines and that's all I need.  Years ago my wife and I decided to join a big national chain gym.  It was really more of a country club type place and we mainly used it for the hot tub and pool.  $126 per month for the family, what a waste!

So, since I joined the new gym, I've been going every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I have not missed a day.  I have not been sore.  Now, I have "felt" the workout.  As I said earlier, my body is not used to this, so I can feel the walking/running in my legs.  I can feel my muscles in my chest and back . They are by no means sore, more of a tight feeling.

So here is my routine.  I go in early, around 6am.  Then walk a mile.  Usually around 3.5 mph with the occasional bump up to 4.5 or 5 for a little bit.  My goal here is to just get through the mile without hurting myself.  All I'm trying to do is get my body moving and get the blood pumping.

Then I move over to the weights.  I do a lat pull down 3 sets of 10 with a low weight that doesn't challenge me.  I want to get through all three sets.  I do the same with seated rows, back extensions, chest press and bicep curls.  That's it.  Oh, I also take 30 seconds between sets.

The main thing that I am doing now, that I have never done before, is to track everything.  I take my phone in and have a free app that allows me to say the reps, sets and weight for each machine.  It also allows me to track my cardio for time, distance, calories burned and max heart rate.

After a few weeks I've started bumping up the weight a bit, but only so I feel the workout is more productive, I still do not feel any pain or soreness the next day.

Because I'm tracking everything now, I can see some correlations.  My workouts are harder if I have alcohol the night before, even 1 drink.  Also, water is vitally important.  If I don't drink water before my workout and go straight from bed to gym, my workouts aren't as good.

I'm also beginning to see how my food intake changes how my workouts feel (I have not changed my diet yet, but it is sort of changing on it's own, I'm finding that junk cravings are diminishing and healthy food becoming more desirable).  This is all something that you begin to see as you track and just keep doing the work.  Actually at this point, I kind of look forward to it and it takes less motivation to get me there in the first place!

If you have been overweight your whole life or are overweight now and are struggling to lose weight, I hope this article helps you to make the slow steps toward health.  Just remember you don't have to do everything to the max at once.  Go slow, take your time and just do something!


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Permission Or Forgiveness

One of the most common traits of successful people is that they do not ask for permission, PERIOD!


Here is the scenario.  You are working for a company and you are the best at everything you are supposed to do.  You complete all your projects on time.  You help train others that are new or struggling.  Yet, every time there is a position that comes up that would move you up in your career, you get overlooked.  Not only do you get overlooked, but the people that typically get the position are ok at their jobs and occasionally get in trouble for some of the things they do.

How does this happen?

You have been tricked.  When you were young your parents told you that you needed to behave.  When you didn't, you got in trouble.  This "trouble" was easily avoided by being "good".  Then, the same thing happened in school.  You caught slack from other kids, but the teachers praised how good you were.  Matter of fact, even when you got into the workforce this seemed like it was the right way to work.  Your bosses praised your quality and efficiency.

Congratulations, you've officially been trained to be a cog in someone else's machine.

Somewhere along the line you woke up and decided you wanted your own machine.  Again, congratulations are in order.  Good for you, but how do you break the pattern of being "good"?

To break the pattern, get into trouble, tactfully.  If you have an idea for a new way to do something at work, just do it.  Think about the absolute worst thing that could happen.  As long as the worst thing is getting in trouble, do it.  One thing to bear in mind is that you may be oversensitive to potential consequence of your actions.  The years of believing that some great cataclysm was going to occur if you stepped even slightly out of line has trained you this way.  The fact of the matter is, people are generally very forgiving.

If you try something at work that you normally would ask permission to do (and get denied, while someone else tries it and gets promoted because it worked), be prepared for a little shock from you managers.  It will take them a bit by surprise when their normally obedient servant begins to think for themselves.

If the idea doesn't work, apologize.  Then, say that it won't happen again and be "good" for a while.  After a short time, try again.

I know this sounds terrible, especially if you are used to following within all the rules.  However, if you want to succeed, this is how its done.


Monday, August 12, 2013

Live Like You Are Dying Tomorrow....Uh, No.

I hate it when people say this.

If we were to take them literally, then we'd spend everyday hanging out with family and never be able to make enough money to eat or pay rent or live and explore life.

Let's clear this up.  I think a better statement would be to tell people to "Allow yourself to be open to any experience."

In order to get the most out of your life you need to be able to experience anything.  Don't hold back.  The main idea behind the like you are dying statement is that if you keep putting everything off until tomorrow, you'll never get to it.  If you keep waiting for the "right" moment for things, you will never experience anything.

Life is messy and problematic.  There is nothing you can do to change it, so embrace it!

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Become A Consultant For Yourself

If you are anything at all like me, there are times when your creative ideas tend to flow faster than other times.

In particular, I seem to get great ideas when they are related to other people's projects.  When it comes to my own projects ideas seem to dry up.

Why is this?

Reason #1-Myopic Viewpoint

The main reason this occurs for many people has to do with relaxation.  Often times when we are thinking about our own projects we have a huge load of emotional connection that overly increases the perceived importance of our project.

This increased value causes us to go into caution mode.  This mental lock box causes a myopic view of the possibilities and options that are available.  This 500ft view of the issue prevents us from exploring perfectly valid solutions.

Generally, when this occurs we also get into a bit of panic mode, especially if there is a deadline associated with the project.

The solution to this is to begin all projects early.  As soon as you know something needs to be done, do not delay.  By beginning the project early you have an opportunity to get your subconscious mind involved.  When you understand a problem and have time to relax, your mind will work on the solution without you having to consciously think of ideas.  These subconscious ideas will suddenly pop into your mind.  You must capture these!

The first day you have a project, begin by taking a 50,000ft view of it.  Get an idea of what is involved and what the best ultimate result would be if you project were a 100% success.

Once you have this understanding, set the project aside for a few days.  If you are on a very short timetable, set it aside for a while, but only so much that you have at least half of the overall time left to finish the project.

If you need to, do some relaxation exercises or focus on something else.  Even work on another project if you have it.  If you have any ideas pop up, quickly write them down and get back to your other project.

When you re-approach your project, make sure to prep your mindset.  You want to come in with the thought that you are just taking a look for a friend.  If you are relaxed and have the right mindset, you should have some ideas pop up.  Write these down.  When the ideas are all on paper, you should find that you have more options and possibilities to begin attacking the project in ernest.

Reason #2-Fear Of Failure

The second reason that we tend to have a more difficult time finding solutions to our challenges vs. the challenges of friends is that we have to suffer the consequences.

When we look at a friend's project there is no benefit or detriment to us regardless of the outcome.  This allows us to be free to explore any and all options without fear.

When it comes to our projects, we automatically (and sometimes subconsciously) disregard ideas that are out of the box.  We also tend to disregard ideas based on how unsure we are of their outcome.  Unless we know it will work, we fear the unknown and push the idea aside.

Again, by stepping outside ourself and look at the situation as a bystander we can help to reduce the negative impact that fear can have on us.

How To Step Outside Of Yourself

Chances are at some point in your life you have already done this.  Can you remember a time when something you did seemed surreal?  You watched the event unfolding but you had that feeling of being an observer instead of being involved.  If you remember this feeling, try to put yourself in that mode again while looking at your project.

If you are not sure what the feeling is or how to get there, you can practice this.  Sit at a table in a room that you are very familiar with.  Take a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly.  Close your eyes.  Start to imagine that you are standing a few feet behind the chair looking at yourself sitting there.  Imagine what your posture looks like from behind.  Imagine what your hair looks like.  Create a mental picture of yourself and actually see it.  After a few minutes raise your right hand and see your hand raise in the mental picture you are creating.  Put it down and do the same with the left hand.  Keep breathing in a slow fluid manner.  When you are finished, visualize walking up and sitting back down into yourself and slowly open your eyes.

If you do this exercise a few times it will get easier and easier.  Then, when working on a project, do the same thing and pretend that the guy in the chair is a consultation client or a friend and you are just going to give them a bunch of ideas that they can consider for their project.

Write down any ideas that come to mind and consider each one later.

Ultimately, the entire post is about freeing yourself and giving yourself permission to explore any possibilities as they relate to your challenges.  You are a creative person and you deserve to benefit from your creative ability!

Best of luck!